Victim consciousness is a choice. As we mentioned, from our experience, most people choose to live this way. – Jim Dethmer, Diana,Chapman & Kaley Warner Klemp,The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership
In a previous article I asked you if you were as aware as Jean-Claude Vandamme. In this article I would like to share with you a model that actually describes several states of consciousness and that will help you increase your awareness.
By the end of this article you will know what is your main state of consciousness.
The model comes from the book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership and is called “four ways of being”. Though the book is focusing on leaders and use these models to describe different ways of leading, in fact everybody can benefit from that model. Actually, I encourage everyone who wants to learn more about consciousness and increase their level of awareness to get the book.
Here are the 4 states of consciousness:
- TO ME – Life happens to me
- BY ME – I make life happen
- THROUGH ME – I cooperate with life happening
- AS ME – At one with all
Note that these are states and NOT stage of development. You may alternate between these states througout your day.
Now let’s get into more details and describe each of these 4 states.
1) TO ME – Life Happens to Me
Why does it happen to me? This question sounds natural to you? That’s because in the To Me state of consciousness we play the role of the victim. You can call this state “victim consciousness”. It is a state of consciousness that is very disempowering and extremely toxic. People in that state like to complain and blame other people or situations.
Playing the victim is a very easy pattern to fall into as, as strange as it may seem, we actually get a certain pleasure out of it. It allows us to create a certain identity, “the victim”, and reject responsibility. Indeed, it is much more easier to play the victim than to face our problems and to undertake the necessary changes.
I must admit that I often find myself in that victim mindset. However, I became clearly aware of the battle that takes place within myself between the part of me who enjoys being a victim and the part of me who wants to take 100% responsibility and move forward.
What about you? In what area of your life are you playing the victim?
2) BY ME – I make life happen
What can I learn from that situation? That is the type of questions that someone in a By Me state of consciousness would ask himself or herself.
The shift from the To Me state to the By Me state of consciousness occurs when we take full responsibility for our life. Instead of thinking of ourselves as victims, we become the creators of our life.
Everything in our life becomes a feedback and we see in each situation an opportunity to learn more and develop ourself. Life is seen as one big learning university and challenges are seen as opportunities for us to grow.
3) THROUGH ME – I cooperate with life happening
What wants to happen through me? In the Through Me state of consciousness we see ourselves as co-creators. We start becoming curious about life and begin noticing that there is something beyond ourselves. Some may call it the universe, other God or love to name a few.
In that state, we let go of our desire to control things, events and people. Anyway, we didn’t really have control over them in the first place, only the illusion of control.
People in that state of consciousness start to ask themselves questions like “What is life’s highest idea of itself that wants to manifest in and through me.” They become very clear about their individual purpose and align with it. As a result, they end up living more in integrity with who they really are.
4) AS ME – At one with all
No more questions, just knowingness. It is the state of consciousness reached by enlightened being. There are no more problems and no one to solve them. There is no person to take things personally, no one to get defensive, no ego to be found. People in that state experience a sense of unlimited freedom and peace. (See my series of articles on spiritual enlightenment). The author of “The Sedona Method”, Hale Dwoskin summarizes that state as follow: “In the As Me space, there are no problems and there is no you to have a problem.”
Now, in order to understand the mindsets and belief systems characterizing these different states of consciousness, let’s have a look at two important concepts: purpose and love.
What purpose means in each state of consciousness
To me: What purpose? I should have one and I don’t. I just have roles I play.
By me: It’s my purpose. I declare it and go out and get it.
Through me: Transcendent purpose. There is no wanting and I receive my purpose through listening.
As me: What purpose? Being and purpose are the same. It’s impossible to be off of it.
What about you? Which of these states can you relate to? (You might want to check out my article Step 4: Find Your Life Purpose)
What happiness means in each state of consciousness
To me: It is a fleeting moment of pleasure (ice cream, vacation, sex) and it depends on circumstances.
By me: I choose to make myself happy. I can make happiness if I bring the right ingredients.
Through me: Happiness is here now and it has a deep lasting quality. I relax into joy.
As me: Happiness is just another state, it is just one of many vibrations passing through
How to move from one state to another
So how can we move to a higher level of consciousness? Below is the formula:
TO ME + responsibility → BY ME
BY ME + surrender → THROUGH Me
THROUG ME + oneness → AS ME
What about you? Do you like this model? Which state of consciousness do you think characterizes the best where you are right now?
My hope is that you will take this opportunity to reevaluate your current beliefs and see in which areas of your life your victim consciousness is manifesting. I’m sure it is manifesting in some areas of your life!
You can download the one-page pdf file with the 15 Commitments at this page for free.
For your information, here is the first commitment:
I commit to taking full responsibility for the circumstances of my life, and my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing. I commit to support others to take full responsibility for their lives.
I commit to blaming others and myself for what is wrong in the world. I commit to be a victim, villain, or a hero and take more or less than 100% responsibility.
Leave me a comment and let me know what you think about these 15 Commitments 😉
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